If I were asked prior to my own health journey, “What are the primary emotions that people experience when going through a medical crisis?” I would have put scared at the top of the list. Indeed, fear rears its ugly head, but I quickly learned that being afraid and other challenging emotions can be strengths that help us move forward to handle what comes our way. We learn worry is important because it leads us to question what needs to be done. Sadness is a gift, increasing our awareness of what we value. Anger propels us to fight for what we need. The support of others reminds us we aren’t in this fight alone. Although a medical crisis isn’t what we would have chosen for ourselves or our loved ones, through the pain, loss, and uncertainty, we experience bravery, resilience, change, and hope.

Cindy’s Journey  My old self

As I grab onto one of the last warm, sunny fall days to clean out the garage, a neighbor walked by. She expressed how good it is to see me like my “old self” again. We speak for a while, catching up on each other’s lives. As she walks back up the hill to her home, her words come back to me: my “old self.”

So much of my life looks different now. I can’t work like I used to, my hair is short, my body aches, and fatigue is a constant companion. But then it hits me: I realize that too much of my attention focuses on what has been lost and not on what has stayed the same. A smile settles across my face as I realize that through it all, I am still me. I am still my “old self” — just wiser.

Featured image courtesy of darksouls1 on Pixabay.