People fascinate me. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy being a psychologist as I seek to understand why people react the way they do. As unique as individuals are, patterns typically emerge. Recognizing patterns is helpful to understand why we feel the way we do and how our reactions are experienced by others in similar situations.

As treatment suggestions are presented by medical teams, many of us feel a sense of danger and fear about what is to come. This sense of danger sets a hardwired response in our autonomic nervous system into motion, spurring our minds and bodies into that all-too-familiar fight/flight/freeze response that we began to experience at the onset of the medical crisis.

Hormones, such as adrenaline, are released. Adrenaline is often mentioned when talking about athletics and other performances. As an athlete runs onto the field, a speaker steps up to the podium, or a dancer takes stage, adrenaline levels rise, preparing muscles for exertion and narrowing focus to the task at hand. These shifts in hormones allow us to do what we need.

Just like the caveman encountering that mountain lion, stepping onto the field or stage spikes adrenaline, and we experience specific changes in our brains and bodies. Treatments and side effects become our mountain lion. As treatment options are presented, our adrenaline surges, muscles tighten, heart pounds, breath quickens, and sweat breaks through our skin.

For some of us, the fight mode emerges and shifts us into seeking out options and evaluating the pros and cons of the different options. Flight mode moves others into not wanting to decide, ignoring and/or heavily relying on others’ opinions or asking the medical team to make the decision. In the freeze response, the brain interprets the treatment choices as dangerous, and the surges in adrenaline spark feelings akin to stage fright, rendering a sense of immobility.

Fight Mode

We prepare and get our mind set on fighting whatever comes our way.  Those in fight mode acquire information and resist others’ opinions because they seek to have some control in an out-of-control situation.

I need to have my prostate removed. I asked my doctor a thousand questions. I want to know everything. My wife and I both took notes. When we got home, we compared our notes and discussed every piece. I mapped out when I could return to work based upon the doctor’s projections (likely a month) and when I could start golfing again (maybe in six weeks, but cart only). I want to get this over with. –UK

My brother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer we had never heard of before. I went into education mode and found the International Myeloma Foundation website. It was full of information. He and I went to a patient/family seminar. I tried to find out as much information as I could. There had to be a way to beat this.–KL

Flight Mode

The mechanisms of the flight response create an uneasiness, and this imbalance moves us to want to heavily rely on others’ opinions or ask the medical team to make the decisions.

A friend of mine has the same doctor, and is having his prostate removed the same week I am. As we talked, it is clear my friend doesn’t grasp all that is involved; he’s planning a European hiking trip for three weeks after his surgery. I peppered him with questions about whether he talked to the doc about his plans. Did he know he is going to have a catheter? Did he take notes when the doctor was talking? He started to walk away and turned to me and said, “I just want to go in, have the surgery, and get on with my life. I don’t want to hear all of the particulars.” –DF

On the other hand, some of us choose not to pursue treatment and this does not mean we are necessarily in the flight mode. To others, that choice might look like a flight response, but can be a deliberate, thoughtful decision.

My sister didn’t want any treatment when she received her diagnosis. When she finally talked about her diagnosis, I learned she was first diagnosed years before. –KG

Freeze Mode

In the freeze response, the brain interprets the treatment choices as dangerous, and the surges in adrenaline spark feelings akin to stage fright, rendering a sense of immobility.

I became so anxious; it was like being in shock.–SH

Knowing which reaction you tend towards helps you avoid being stuck in one of them. Reviewing the different ways to deal with fight, flight and freeze can help you work through these reactions during treatment.

Featured image courtesy of Finn on Unsplash.